Tag Archives: Control

Meditation How To: Allowing

September 18, 2009

Meditation How To: Allowing

Remember when you were working to bring your body under control while in meditation? How did you go? In the end, it’s best to come to some level of peace in the body before launching yourself into your meditation. I follow a process a bit like this:

  • Decide to turn up for my meditation practice
  • Ensure I’m not going to be disturbed
  • Get myself settled, cushion, shawl/rug, meditation journal and pen
  • Light a candle or incense just to help me get in the mood and focus a little
  • Relax – first the body and then the mind.

I do the “Relax” part slowly, using my breath to help me gradually release any tension, tickles and the like from my body. It usually takes me between three and five breaths before I turn my attention to my mind.

Again, I use my breath to help me focus my attention on finding the quiet bits within my thought stream. As I lose my focus and start interacting and following my thoughts (yes, it happens to everyone!) I have come to realise that my body gradually becomes tense again. It’s this tenseness or twitchiness often, that alerts me to the fact that I’m lost in my thoughts again. So once again I turn to my breath to settle my body again and then my thoughts.

So now we come to allowing. It’s been occurring to me that “control” is doing and as such is at odds with our meditation practice. Meditations aim is Being.

So, if my body does an occassonal twitch or itch, I am working on being in “allowingness” (hmmm the spell checker doesn’t like that one) about it. If it’s not distracting me, I just let it go – perhaps I’ll see if there is some tension that needs to be released and breathe it out but usually these little things just pass on by if I remember to allow them to.

Likewise with my thoughts and emotions. If I try to ‘control’ them they sometimes just dig in and won’t stop but if I can get my mind and my thoughts to a state of relative ease, then just allow the thoughts and images to just float in and out of my mind without engaging with them, I find they come and go, come and go…. come and go……….come and go. With much less frequency.

The Allowing of the body and the mind to do what they are designed to do seems to act as a soothing influence on their activity. The saying “What We Resist, Persists” really seems to apply here. So if you are having trouble with “Control” why not give “Allow” a go and see how it serves you.

May your dreams be vibrant and joyful.

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Meditation How To: First Control Your Body

May 12, 2009

Meditation How To: First Control Your Body

I bet you didn’t think I was going to say that right up front did you? That’s understandable really, because when you ask most people why they didn’t continue with their meditation practice they will answer with something like:

  • I couldn’t stop thinking
  • I couldn’t concentrate
  • I couldn’t make my mind silent

Welcome to the club. It’s normal for that to happen and for most people to remain under control of their rambling mind is also very normal.

Take heart dear ones, help is at hand.

Let me tell you a story.

I first came across meditation more than 20 years ago – in fact it may be more like 25 years but I couldn’t be that old so let’s just go with 20 years ago!

  • I seemed to be surrounded by people who were meditating.
  • So a kinda joined in … a bit.
  • Needless to say I wasn’t really successful and gave it up as a bit of a weird thing to do.

Then around 10 or 12 years ago I found myself in the same position. I was once again surrounded by spiritual people and many of them were meditating on a regular basis.

  • Aaah, the Universe is a clever thing – when a person needs a lesson, a tool or a skill, the Universe will wait patiently until you are ready.
  • This time I took it all a little more seriously and asked someone to give me some hints and tips and I even read a wonderful book that gave me some of the tools I still use today.

However, it wasn’t until about two or three years ago that I learnt the biggest secret that helped me really cement my meditation practice and make it the enjoyable experience it is today. I discovered that the key to controlling my mind, was to learn to control my body.

  • Consider the truth of this. You sit or lay down to meditate. Within three seconds, you just have to shuffle a little bit to get comfy.
  • Then your nose itches, or your eye twitches.
  • Perhaps you feel you must yawn or scratch your knee.

I’m sure you are seeing the pattern here. You see, despite you thinking that you control your body, most of the time you are happy for it to do whatever it wants so long as it is available when you want to pick something up with your foot for example! :-)

Your body on the other hand, is not so happy about you making it sit still. Perfectly still, for even 1 minute. Well that is our task for this Step in the “Meditation How To” series. Learn to take back control of your body, 5 minutes at a time. No ifs, buts or maybe’s. Just still perfectly still, no itching, no twitching, no scratching, shuffling or squirming for 5 minutes.

Your task for today:

At the time you have chosen as being perfect for your meditation time, go sit comfortably in your chair:

  • Feet on the floor
  • Warm enough or cool enough
  • NO distractions!

Now, take a couple of nice deep breaths. In and out releasing any tension and just really coming into your special, precious meditation time:

  • Allow your eyes to close softly
  • Allow your breath to find it’s own natural rhythm
  • WATCH YOUR BODY

It really won’t take it too long to start trying to get your attention:

  • It will tell you it’s uncomfortable but you know that is not true and anyway, it’s only for 5 minutes.
  • It will tell you that your little toe, or your nose, or ear or chin is so itchy there must be something really wrong, but you know that’s not true and it’s only for 5 minutes.
  • It will tell you that there are a hundred and one things it needs to do RIGHT NOW… but you know that in 5 minutes it will all be just nonsense.

Continue to watch your body, acknowledge it’s discomfort in your mind and if it helps, thank it for being so caring about you and let it know that you’ll shift your position, scratch that itch or whatever it’s trying to do to you, in less than 5 minutes.

DONE!

Practice this exercise until you can sit, controlling your body quite happily for 5 full minutes.

Congratulations!

You are now ready to move to the next step.

I’ve made a recording for you to listen to if you need a little bit of guidance for this part of our process.

  • Just put your name and email address into the box at the right hand side of this page and I will add it to the list of fantastic meditation resources I’m going to give you.
  • The link will arrive by email for you to download when you are ready.
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Meditation How To: Do We Have a Deal?

May 11, 2009

Meditation How To: Do We Have a Deal?

Have you ever tried to meditate?

  • Did you succeed?
  • Did you try again later or even the next day?

Do you drive a car?

  • Did you know all you needed to know the very first time you ever got behind the wheel?
  • Did you get your drivers licence the first time you sat the test?
  • Did you go back again and again until you were successful?

So what’s with people giving up on Meditation?

It’s my belief that there are a number of factors at play here and I’ll go through them one at a time, step by step, until we have a handle on them. That’s all I can do for you. After that, it’s up to you to turn up every day and apply what you are learning.

Do we have a deal? Terrific!

So where to begin? Well, it’s pretty simple really. I want you to pick a place to meditate every single day for the next week for about 5 minutes. Yep that’s not too hard right? I mean, you can find 5 minutes and sit in a chair.  No distractions of any kind, for 5 minutes. You can do that right?

Great. I’ll talk to you some more tomorrow.

Here is your list for Step One:

  1. Find a chair: comfortable enough to sit in for 5 minutes and that allows you to sit upright (no slouching or snoring) with your feet on the floor.
  2. Put the chair in a place where you will be happy to meditate: You must feel safe and secure to meditate. You must feel not too warm nor too cool so maybe a rug or shawl handy would be a good idea too. If you think you need a cushion, grab one of those as well.
  3. Select a time where you have 5 minutes of absolutely interruption free time where you can go to your meditation space and just be alone with yourself for 5 minutes. I mean it. No people, no pets, no phone calls or TV – nothing but you and yourself.

If you can do these things and then make a commitment to yourself to turn up every day for 5 minutes, I’ll make a commitment to you to share what I know about meditation. I love these win-win deals. My life feels more worthwhile for having passed on my knowledge and experience and I just know yours will too once you get a handle on Meditation.

Many blessings on you and those you love.

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